Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Elizabeth Warren Pushes Fed to Reinstate Wells Fargo’s Asset Cap - Barron's

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What a list actors/ actresses are notorious for being jerks in real life?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy bullshit

During the Atlmark incident in 1940, the Brit war criminals violated Norwegian neutrality. Hitler could then justify invading Norway. Have the Brits ever apologized for violating Norwegian neutrality?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

What are some cute stories with your crush?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Recently, I cleared my JP Morgan coding round. Next, I received mail for a video interview. What kind of questions are asked in this round? How do I prepare myself?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I see through liars

Is Tinder the best dating app?

I actually pay taxes

I have a reading level above third grade

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

In the TV show Supernatural, why is God portrayed as cruel?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Witness testifies that Diddy dangled her over a balcony - BBC

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I took the same Oath and took it seriously